Tuesday, May 12, 2009

In this corner...

Well, Noah will be a year old this Sunday. I can't even believe how fast time is flying by. And suddenly I look at him, and he's so grown up already. What happened to my little baby? When he's asleep at night, I whisper to him that he's not allowed to get any older. That he must stop growing and changing. So far, he hasn't listened.


He's not walking independently yet. But here's the thing: he actually can. He can stand alone. He can take steps alone. But when he sees where he's going, he realizes he can get there faster by just crawling, so he sits and crawls. He'll hold a hand or a finger and walk around like that, but without assistance, he just doesn't see the benefit. He'll get there. He also doesn't really see the need to eat real food, when boob is readily available. Sure, he can take a few bites of rice or chicken or veggies, but not much. Why should he, when Mom is right there??? I guess he'll get there too when he's ready. He knows what a cow says ("mmmmoooooooo"), loves pattycake (because he gets to clap and hit things), and STILL LOVES BOXING. What is it with this kid? He has an obsession with boxing, the speedbag, watching boxing on tv, watching other people hot the bag or hit the mitts. I mean, if EVER a sport was in someone's blood, it's in his. He's been obsessed since 6 months old. Ivan is so proud. and Jose Luis can't wait to start training him. All I know is, he better be good, cause if anyone messes up that face, they're gonna have to deal with ME.



Friday, May 1, 2009

Mother's Day Gift Ideas

I think for this Mother's Day, I'm gonna give myself... permission to not feel guilt.

I am a good mom. Getting some of the laundry done is okay. We've never been without clean clothes to wear. My kids KNOW that I love them. Yes, I need to mop. But the sticky handprints on the walls mean that someone was having (unsupervised) fun.

No, my hair's not done. Yes, I look like I haven't slept in weeks. And no, I don't care. Why? Hear that sound? That's my kids laughing in the other room. (and the sound of a lamp crashing to the floor. but hey, there's laughter about that, too.)

I might not be the best wife. I might not be the best friend. or daughter. or sister. But when it comes to being solely responsible for someone else's life and development and happiness, that's gonna trump everything else around me. Sorry.

And each and every day, I do the little bit that I can. It's not profound, or beautiful, or grand. It's real. I really did just pick up dog poop, wipe a butt, wash everyone's hands, wash the dishes, pull a crayon out of a mouth, kiss a bump on the forehead, sing the alphabet song, nurse the baby, scream when he bit me, laugh when he laughed, apologize for not having time to read a story, re-stock the toilet paper, wipe another butt, and microwave leftovers. And every day, I struggle with the longer list of things that don't get done. The "didn't" list. And the fact that that list grows in multiples of three daily starts to chip away at my emotional stability. I can feel the tears well up sometimes. I feel my sens of humor slipping through my fingers. I can feel the sleep deprivation in my joints. I can see my unmanicured nails and unshaved legs.

But, I think for this Mother's Day, I'm going to give myself a moment to breathe, and do my best to forget about the "didn't" list for just a day.